Elementals - Prologue

I realise that I promised you writing and I have insofar not uploaded a single extract. Consider this a start.

The following is the prologue from a novel I'm beginning to write called 'Elementals'. I'll not give away the plot because that's not cool, but I shall say this: What occurs in the prologue does impact later events, but not directly. All shall become clear later. Trust me. After all, you really have no other choice. Muhahahaha...

*          *          *



It started in the night. It began as a whisper at the back of his mind, increasing in volume until it was a roar that rocked the very core of his being. And then, very suddenly, it stopped. And he opened his eyes.

                 The room was on fire. Everything – the pale wallpaper, the wardrobe, the bookcase and its load of paperbacks – was burning fiercely, flames leaping up from the hardwood floor to lick the painted ceiling. The bedcovers were alight, the fire devouring the soft fabric.

                He reacted instinctively, kicking back the covers and springing out of bed and to the floor. More by accident rather than design, he managed to land in a patch free of flame. The heat was searing and the smoke thick, catching in the back of throat. He had to escape. He glanced at the door. It was succumbing to the inferno, its white paint peeling away. The brass doorknob glowed menacingly. There was no way out.  But wait - the window.

                Moving like lightning, he picked up a lamp and hurled the heavy object at the glass. It smashed through the single pane with a crash. He turned to it and backed up several steps. He killed the seeds of doubt in his mind – he didn’t have time to question the wisdom of what he was about to do. Grimacing with anticipation, he ran to the window and leapt.

                The cool air was both a shock and a relief to him as it rushed past. The cold wind flowed over his loosely-clad body and outstretched arms. Then he made contact with the rough bark of the tree, and his flight ended as abruptly as it had begun.

                Hooking his arms around the thick branch of the old tree, he hauled himself up into the foliage. Leaves still damp from the night’s rain wiped water across his forehead, mingling with the sweat. Twisting around, he looked back at the house. The whole building was lit from the inside by the glow of the fire, shadows dancing on the neatly mowed lawn. The crackle of blazing material and the crash of a collapsing roof filled the air. It was a symphony of destruction: The booming bass drum was the jerry cans in the garage; the xylophone’s tinkle was glass breaking; the trumpet’s fanfare replaced by the wail of sirens.

                When they found him, he was sitting at the base of the tree, fresh burns colouring his skin an angry red. His expression was blank, wiped clean by shock. But it was his eyes that caught the attention; held them rapt. They burned with the infernos of rage.

                The fire fighters may have extinguished the flames, but the fire blazed on.

*           *          *

There is more, but that's better left for another time. There is an actual plot behind this and there's a reason behind everything that just happened above. I just need to find it... Heheh.

Adios muchachos.

Scriptwriting for Novelists

I'm not sure if anyone else has realised this (blatant sarcasm; forgive me), but there's quite a divide between scriptwriting and novel-writing. Where in novels one must write great big long descriptions to satisfy the reader's potentially interested mind, in scripts descriptions must be as concise as possible. The director decides what the set and costumes look like rather than the screenwriter in a script, because the ultimate aim is to sell it on to someone else so that they may produce it as a movie, play or audio play. This is a key difference between the two that I am finding difficult to deal with.

As a novelist and storyteller at heart, I have grown accustomed to describing scenes in subtle and often lengthy fashions. One of my personal rules is to pour as much description in as possible without deterring the reader from reading on, something that is not always easy to achieve. Therefore writing scripts is difficult for me, because I have to cut down an entire paragraph to a few key words and phrases. Where in stories the bulk is description and action, scripts are fleshed out with dialogue and have little action blocks just to tell you where you stand.

Making the transition from noveling to scriptwriting is an unusually turbulent one, and I've found that the way to deal with it is simply to write my scripts as I do novels: pile on the description and intersperse it with dialogue. Then, when it comes to the rewrite, I go back and blitz it. Waging war on one's own work is often difficult, but it tends to work - it cuts down the unnecessary stuff and generally betters the entire experience. And, as I do this more and more, I find myself having to do less and less editing. The moral of the story: if you're a novelist, you're going to write scripts like a novelist, so rethink your entire approach before you start. Still, perhaps some things are better learned firsthand...

If any of you out there are novelists going into scriptwriting, just remember that it's an entirely different ball game. In fact, I think the ball may have changed shape as well as size... Good luck to you, people. I now have a novel to be writing. I bit you adieu!

Pisces

Dead Fish Productions

It was late last night when I decided that I was going to start up a production company. (Not a real, official company, but you know what I mean - it sounds better than 'group'.) Together with my friend Bill, we formed Dead Fish Productions, a group with a single purpose: to create short films, audio plays and animations (perhaps; only 'short films' is confirmed).

So it is that we exist: Professor Pisces as director and scriptwriter, Bill as the one-man camera crew and digital artist and now my own brother, Bod, as an actor, stuntman and continuity editor.

To deal with documenting the process of producing such films, I've set up a new blog - Dead Fish. On the official Dead Fish site, you'll see the production process followed through, bit by bit, from the conception of an idea through to the end credits and evaluation. When we eventually manage to produce something, we'll post it on YouTube over our as-yet nonexistent channel as well as linking it to the Dead Fish blog.

Head over there now and join us for the journey - it's bound to be a good show.

Writerly Commitments - It's Never Too Late

I may or may not have said all this already, but I feel I owe you all something.

People make New Year's Resolutions, yes? Well I don't. I hold to the philosophy that if something's worth doing, you do it now - usually. But Script Frenzy's shown me that sometimes we all need a jumpstart to get us going. A timeframe and a deadline works wonders on my work. This is why I've made something new for myself: Writing Commitments.

Before Screnzy, my creative drive was all but dormant. I wasn't writing anything and I felt sorta guilty about that. But Screnzy gave me the energy, that impetus, to start up again. The goal of a hundred pages made its mark upon me. When I completed Script Frenzy I set myself goals that I wanted to achieve throughout the rest of the year (only seven full months remaining, oh dear). The goals were (and still are) as follows:

1. Write a novel.
2. Write a short story (or five pages of a story) per week; this excludes the novel.
3. Enter at least five writing related competitions; these exclude events run by the OLL.
4. Partake in NaNoWriMo.

Now these, I believe, are goals that I can manage - at a stretch, no less. The novel is already in progress - a week in and I'm at 3,000 words already (Prologue and Chapter One inclusive) - and I've started one short story and resurrected another within the past month. (I haven't actually finished the short story, which seems like cheating, but I'll get round to it.) As far as competitions go, I'm writing a poem for a particular competition presently. Considering that the deadline's literally months away, I'll be happy to mull over the lines slowly for a while and create some really nice stanzas. The other four competitions are yet to be selected. However, I have one tiny problem - NaNoWriMo.

NaNoWriMo, for those unaware, occurs in November every year. It's an annual event run by the Office of Letters and Light (OLL), and the aim is to write a 50,000 word novel in a month. Now the problem is not the challenge itself - after all, I completed it last year, albeit with only a couple of hours to spare - but the time at which it happens. My schedule for November is loaded, so much so that it may just be too much to take on the challenge of novelling. However, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. NaNoWriMo is months away, though rest assured, it'll leap out at me when I'm unawares.

With these commitments in place - and now several dozen people aware of them and able to keep me on track - I'm sure to do much more in the way of writing. Those several dozen people know who they are. If I stray, I'm sure they'll beat me back into shape with sharp rebukes. After all, keeping my honour and my word are great incentives if nothing else is.

Off to devise a way of keeping myself on track, this is a rather tired and beleagured Author signing off. Now where are those Hayfever tablets...?

Finished the Frenzy

Well, Script Frenzy is now officially over, and has been for several days now. And guess what? 101 pages!

While I may have completed Script Frenzy, I'm nowhere near finishing off my script and am going to have to ax 45 pages immediately. It sucks, but it's the truth. Thirty days and 101 pages just isn't enough space, unfortunately. However, this being the first script I have ever written, I think I've done pretty well.

So what's next? Well, I have other aims for the rest of this year. I want to participate in either or both of NaNoWriMo and Camp NaNoWrimo, the difference being that one occurs in June and the other in November. I'd also like to enter at least five competitions in the rest of this year - if I win money, I can officially say that I'm a professional writer. Asides from all that, I think I'll try and write a short story each week.

Now you pretty much know what my plan is for the rest of 2012. I'm off to get some sleep - Screnzy really takes it out of you.

With tired regards,
   A Rather Satisfied Screnzier

Transcribing: I Hate It.

It has been a good Screnzy so far, and now that we are over halfway through the month, I'm two thirds the way towards finishing Script Frenzy. (Yay!) However, the past week has seen me going on holiday without Celtx (the scriptwriting software I'm using), so I've been forced to write by hand on sheets of low-quality lined paper. This has also forced me to estimate how many pages I've written on paper, which totals approximately 20. And now I need to transcribe those 20 pages from the paper onto the computer. Lovely.

Transcribing is simple, but incredibly irritating. I simply keep my sheets beside me and type what I read. Unfortunately, it's very time consuming and not all that satisfying. It feels counter-productive - stealing away precious time I could be using doing other things, namely writing more new pages on the computer.

However, just like anything else, it has its benefits. Reading it through and transcribing it is, in a way, multi-task proof-reading. I can locate and edit out typos and suchlike as I go, and modify speech to flow more smoothly. On top of this, it means I can mentally edit everything, working out which parts will make the second draft and what won't survive the extensive editing I have planned.

As well as the obvious editing taking place here, it seems that I may have underestimated just how many pages I've written. At present, I'm calculating that each handwritten page is equal to 1.25 Celtx pages - which is good, as it means that I'm not actually losing as much time as I might think. I'm actually increasing the page count (marginally) as I go. Yip-dee-doo-dah to me, I guess.

So, to recap: I hate transcribing, but it's reasonably productive and is helping with the editing process. (I should really leave editing until after Screnzy, but what the heck! I'm ahead. I deserve to be allowed to deviate slightly.)

And now I'm off to do some more transcribing, and maybe write a guitar solo after that...

Regards,
   A Reasonably Happy Transcriber

Halfway There...

Wahey! I'm a day off being halfway through Script Frenzy!

 At this point in time, I have exactly 59 pages. Unfortunately, twenty of those pages are on lined paper and must be transcribed to Celtx so that I can be sure that I have what I think I have. The problem with writing by hand as well as typing it up is that there's no way you can actually tell how many digital pages you've written on paper. Currently, I'm estimating that one and a half lined paper pages equals a page of Celtx goodness. I hope to the Lord on high that I'm right, or better still, have overestimated and have written far more than simply 59 pages.

This aside, the story is going very well. Now almost 60% the way through my grand masterpiece, I've decided that around seven scenes need axing from the program. That means that approximately two thirds of what I've written is now moot; that is to say, obsolete. This is, no doubt, simply the best thing to realize when you're halfway into a long month of literary abandon. However, I've made the (intelligent) decision to carry on as if nothing's happened. The editing comes after the Frenzy. I tried deleting and rewriting a section a few days into Screnzy, and that didn't turn out so great.

So, I'm not actually following the Script Frenzy approved plan of writing 3.333 pages a day. Instead, I've been writing four, which lands me with a projected total of 56 pages by the end of today. Needless to say, 59 is more than 56 and that means I am almost a whole day ahead of my plan. If I can write five more pages today - which is what I want to do, BTW - I'll be two days ahead of the infernal beast of Screnzy. Great.

Hopefully by Tuesday I'll be past seventy pages. As it is, I can write at a rate of three to six pages per hour (3-6 pg./hr). It's unusual... I appear to write more quickly by hand than on the computer. Maybe that's because I get distracted by the Internet.

Speaking of which, I should really get back to writing now. So allow me to bid you farewell now - I have an episode to write!

Regards,
   A Tired Scriptwriter

Keeping Track of Screnzy

This is republished from my main blog, 'A Whole Different Kettle of Fish'.

Well, Script Frenzy begins tomorrow and I'm not going to have time to say this during the event, so I'm saying it now.

From here on in, I'm in The Zone. This means that pretty much everything I do over the next month or so shall be Screnzy related in some way or other. Seeing as Screnzy's going to take over my life for thirty days (assuming I don't simply burn out and die), I'll talk a lot about what I'm up to and all that good stuff. Alternatively, I'll chuck it over to my other, sideline blog, 'Journal of an Insane Author'. (Note: That's this blog.) However, in each post remotely to do with Screnzy, you shall see this thing below.

 

This is a widget. If it's not working for you, then to heck with your computer.

This little gadget's purpose in life is to show you my stats. It'll tell you how many pages I've written so far. At the end of Screnzy, it'll stick and be stuck forever. (That was a clumsy sentence, but oh well.) It shall act as a marker. I'm sad to say that it's quite likely that this blog shall be overrun with these widgets before the month is out. So now you know what they are.

If you want to look at my stats without the easiness of the described widgets, you can find me on the Script Frenzy site at: http://www.scriptfrenzy.org/eng/user/896055

Have fun with that.

And now, I have some last minute planning to do...

Convincing Characters

Characters are fickle creatures. They like to take you on long journeys, telling you they'll be great. Eventually, they simply flounce into oncoming traffic, though, and that's the end of it.

Finding the perfect character for the job is actually one of the most difficult things to do. It's all very well to plop a carefully shaped human being into a situation, but it's quite another thing trying to make them do what you want them to. The more like a real person you make a character, the more traits the idea takes on - if they're rebellious little so-and-sos, then you can expect them to rebel against what you want them to do.

Take, for the sake of argument, a grumpy goat. Goats are unusually stubborn at the best of times, and they eat all your clothes while they're at it. The only way to force a goat to go anywhere is to either drag it along by a rope, or pick it up and carry it to wherever it is you want it to be. This tends to be a bit of a problem, because if the place you want it to be is, say, insecure, the goat will simply gravitate back towards its original position. Such are characters: If they don't want to be somewhere, you can't force them to be there, otherwise they'll eat through the walls to get out. In short, you have to go with what the characters want.

Unfortunately, this tends to be a bit of a problem. If you put a stubborn character in a situation where what they choose is a turning point for the whole thing, then if they go for what you don't expect, then you may have a difficulty at hand.

I'm aware that I may be confusing some of you. Allow me to explain myself. When I say 'choosein relation to a character, I don't mean to say that the author actually allows the character in question to choose - more that an author should be able to locate the path of least resistance, or what a character's personality would want to do, and just go with it.

The great thing about a path of least resistance is: It has very little resistance attatched. That's why it's so called. In writing terms, it's simply easier to write the character into the story if they follow the path they want to. Events come to mind much easier, as do situations in which the person/thing may be put. That's why going with what the character wants is so important.

The alternative to all this is, when your character gets annoyingly stubborn and doesn't want to go where you wish them to go, you simply kill them. It's surprisingly good fun to kill off characters, and therapeutic too.

This post is winding down a bit now, so I'll round it off by saying: Characters, beware! If you don't bend to my will, then you'll die. Muhahahaha...

Two Weeks to Screnzy...

There's around two weeks to go until Script Frenzy begins, and I'm slightly more unsure as to what's happening with my script than I was yesterday. Unfortunately for me, that happens to be rather confused indeed.

By this point in time, I actually have an idea as to what's going to happen in the TV series that I'm attempting to write. That's certainly more than what I had at the start of this month. Allow me to outline my plan, or give you a brief synopsis. Whichever occurs to me first.

OK, synopsis it is, then.

The Gates of Tomorrow
In the middle of Tower Bridge, a net of crackling blue energy opens in broad daylight during the rush hour. In the chaos, the government send in a squad of elite troops. When one crosses the threshold of the portal, a fascinating discovery is made: The portal leads exactly twenty four hours into the future, and vice versa.

The Gate, once deemed safe, is seen as an excellent advance for the nation: Suddenly, thousands are flocking to London to go sightseeing tomorrow. But there are consequences of every action, and London's about to feel the full force of them.

As personal day-to-day time travel becomes an everyday occurrence, problems arise. What happens when you get a serial killer who hasn't tried to kill anyone yet? What happens to people who die today, but are still alive? How can the newspapers keep making money if everyone knows tomorrow's front-line news? Everyone is impacted by the potentially paradoxical outcomes of every action they make, and not everyone thinks the rules of time apply to them.

Enter the Gatekeepers, a special breed of military personnel and expert researchers devoted to keeping the Gate strictly under control. Yet they face problems every day - yesterday, today and tomorrow at the same time, sometimes - and all must vbe overcome. Because, as one person is very fond of saying, paradoxes cannot be allowed. In fact, they can't happen. Because the Gatekeepers are there to stop them.

Over the course of the series, they shall face some very real threats - terrorists trying out a triple-exploding bomb, serial killers to come and even people who know when they're going to die - but there is a greater foe out there, hiding behind the blue veil... He who opened the Gate is coming, and he's got a higher agenda.

Well, that's a brief synopsis. Maybe a little longer than brief, but alright. So that's the basic premise of my Screnzy for 2012, not that I've done Screnzy ever before, but oh well.

I'll definitely be posting about Screnzy in the coming month, so watch out for that.

Until next time, I bid you adieu.

Big-Headed of Him?

This is an incredibly short piece of fiction that I literally wrote today. I was bored at lunch and had eaten maybe a little too much cheese. The result? A really random, very short first draft of flash fiction.

*            *            *

Pete strummed the final chord of the song that he had been working on for months. For a moment he just stood there, letting the atmosphere disperse. With a nervous look on his face, he looked up to see the other four band members looking at him.

When Pete had learned that the band had lost its lead guitarist and was hoping for a new one, he had jumped at the chance. The group was a well-known one, and its schedule was completely booked: It was running multiple gigs and was even performing as the last act at the prom next month. As such, Pete had the jitters. Was he a good enough guitarist? Did he fit in with the others? And most importantly, did they think he could replace their friend?

Dan, the lead singer, opened his mouth and began talking.

"Pete, we really appreciate your attempt, but the facts stand for themselves. You're not a good enough guitarist, you don't fit in and you simply can't replace our good friend Steve. You have potential, but you aren't right for us. Go home."

Pete's brow furrowed in frustration; then his face turned bright red. Before Dan's eyes, Pete's face went as red as a beetroot and - "No," said Dan, "This can't be happening," - his head began to inflate. As Pete's head grew, his face turned redder and redder until Dan was sure that he couldn't look redder if he had had a tin of scarlet paint poured on him.

"AAARGGH!" cried Pete in anguish. He hated it when this happened. It was uncomfortable, plus he thought it made him look silly.

When Pete's head was approximately the same size and shape as the space-hopper that sat in the corner of the room, the swelling stopped. The band gaped in awe at the incredible spectacle before them. The drummer pinched himself. The bass guitarist looked into the glass he was holding. What the heck had been in that orange juice?

After a moment's amazed silence, Dan spoke up.

"Actually, Pete, this may work in our favour. Does this happen whenever you get extremely irritated?"

Pete nodded sheepishly. Needless to say, with a head the width of an elephant, this was a sight for sore eyes.

"Well, you see, we happen to get some trouble from hecklers..."

As Pete deflated, he broke into a smile. Maybe he wasn't all that skilled at guitar playing, but he had talents in other areas. And now, that had paid off. He was part of a band.

Unnoticed by Pete, his chest had begun to expand. With alarming speed, his torso became a big red balloon.

"Uh-oh," said Dan. "How's he going to get out the door?"

March 2012 Update

If you're a reader of my main blog, 'A Whole Different Kettle of Fish', then you'll know that each month I write updates to inform those of you who are actually interested as to what's been happening. Usually this is only read by those who've gone on a long holiday, or simply have some time to spare. I guess that's what this blog's here for (he said, with obvious doubt and evident sarcasm in his voice). So, anyway...

*            *            *

As of the end of today, the Journal has been going for 14 days (two weeks). It's a young thing yet, but I'm sure that it'll flourish in the rain-leached soil that is Blogger. Despite a sure lack of sunlight, this plant will spread its wings and fly off. "Plants with wings?" you cry. "He must be mad." I ask you to remember what the title of this blog is. Plus, it's a special plant.

So, I should probably say what's been going on in the two weeks I've been active. Well, first of all, I've made myself at home by redecorating and importing some furniture, i.e. some gadgets for the sides. I quite like my current setup, but please feel free to contact me with a query or suggestion at any time via the given email address. In case you haven't spotted it yet, it's pisces.kettle@yahoo.com. Enjoy speaking to me.

I've also managed to avoid feeding you any actual work in the form of poems (yeuch, poetry) short stories or excerpts from novels. That shall change, however one must take into account the imminent event that it is Script Frenzy, for which I still don't have a concrete idea or location. But I'm working on it. I swear to thee that I be working upon it most intently. I shall not deviate from my path. (Oh look. A squirrel!)

So what are my aims for the coming month? Well, firstly I'll actually give you a story or excerpt or something. I'll also continue to talk of my Screnzy plans. Expect Screnzy to take over my life in April. If I don't post here, it's because I'm frantically scripting a TV series. At least that's what I hope to be doing.

*            *            *

So now you know what's happening here, and have a brief, shaky idea of what will be happening soon. And now... March stretches out before me! I must make haste and do... something. I don't know what yet, but writing sounds like a good place to start.

Planning for the coming month,
   An Insane Creature

A Solution to Writer's Block?

I was, as per usual, wandering around the world at large yesterday, when I came across a very interesting idea. This idea came in a very small box and contained nine rather unusual die. And, needless to say, I love them.

I'm aware that I haven't really told you what this thing is. Well, let me tell (and show) you.



The above picture shows a boxful of 'Rory's Story Cubes'. The idea behind them is that you roll each cube, therefore revealing a picture or pictogram of some sort on the top face. Then you're supposed to link all nine pictures together in a story of sorts. Supposedly, the Cubes are a toy/game for kids and adults alike. Personally, though, I like to think of them as a tool. A tool for writers.

If you've ever done a spot of writing, whether it be for a short story, novel, screenplay etc., you'll probably be aware that Writer's Block can be a big problem. The apparent inability to gain ideas, find the right words and phrase it all correctly is in many respects very difficult indeed, which is possibly why so many people complain about Writer's Block so often. Most of the time, you just need a bit of time doing something else. But sometimes we ourselves must locate a stimulus to kick start our imaginations. I believe that these 'Story Cubes' can be that stimulus.

The simple randomness of the pictures on each face of each cube, and how they somehow manage to knit together, is a minor miracle in itself. These cubes could so easily be just the right way to bring a fantastic idea into one's head. In fact, they are. I know, 'cause I've used them. Now I have a great idea for a crime/humour novel/short story thing - I'm not all that sure yet as to what it'll become - and I believe I can bring each element presented by the cubes into the story, too. (FYI: I rolled a padlock, a key, a mask/alien face, a house, the Earth, a crescent moon, a fish, a hand and something else which I have, rather conveniently, completely forgotten.)

Sometimes, flash inspiration just happens. In the right environment, it can occur very easily. In this case, it's only a roll of the die away...

Dramatics dispensed with, all you really need to make these things work their magic is a pen, some paper, a bit of imagination and the cubes themselves. And maybe a table. Even then, you can easily dispense with the table, paper and pen if you're willing to accept that you may forget the outcome of the rolls. On my first use, I could tell from the off that I wouldn't be able to make a proper short story containing all the symbols, so I went in for writing an introduction. So far, my idea's still in the design phase, but once I've developed it a little more I should have something pretty good.

Thanks to these little gems, I'm on the road to having another story under my belt. Of course, with inspiration like that available simply with the flick of a wrist and the unclenching of some fingers, I'm going to have to buy a set myself. They are, however, a little on the expensive side. At ten quid, you do expect quality products for your money, and I would have to say that they really are very good. Even so, they are a bit pricey for the discerning writer... But I must have them!

I'm including a pair of links in this post, one leading to the Amazon.co.uk page and the other to the 'Rory's Story Cubes' site. If I were you, and you happened to be in need of a really fine tool for getting that spark of inspiration, then I'd go in for this. Buy them. They really are brilliant.

Amazon page: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Creativity-Hub-Rorys-Story-Cubes/dp/B003NFJMBM/ref=sr_1_1?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1330536553&sr=1-1

Rory's Story Cubes website: http://www.storycubes.com/

Good luck with getting inspiration, folks. And, as a final remark, I should probably add that I'm not and will hopefully never be a) a salesman or b) an advertiser of any sort. I would also like to say that if you're an English teacher, I'd reccommend them for use in schools.

Get inspired, get the plot straightened out, get that novel written!
   An Intrigued Author

Scriptwriting Software...

With around 31 days until that lovely, bubbly roller coaster ride of terror begins, I have finally located a piece of software suited to my needs. The criteria that had to be met turned out to be a) does it work? and b) can it format my script for me? alongside c) need I pay anything for it?

Thankfully for me, I located one that answered with Yes, Yes and No. (Being a complete miser, I hate to pay anything at all.) The name of this program? 'Celtx'.

Being in some ways kind of similar to every other type of writing software there is, Celtx is a piece of software designed to be a useful tool for the budding writer. With templates for 'novel', 'audio play', 'screenplay' and more, it's slightly basic in its layout but has a respectable range of features. The program itself is completely free, although you can buy extras for certain amounts of money. This, I have not done. Apart from anything else, the payment is in US dollars. I don't do dollars. Except for sand dollars...

So now I'm experimenting about with my lovely new software. I'm halfway through the middle of an audio play (see the original 'The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy' for an audio/radio play) in which a medical experiment sort of gets loose and, although failing to cause harm, succeeds in inspiring panic in its creator. It should be rather short when complete.

But that's not the point of the exercise. The story there may be nice, and might even get previewed here, but the real point is to get comfortable with it. It'll take a bit of time to wear a groove into the earth, but it'll occur eventually.

Off to write more audio madness,
   An Insane Scriptwriter.

A Grand Opening

Having moved on past the minor crisis of not yet having a name to put to my script, I've now gotten to the actual planning part. Now I am not one of those people who enjoys planning to the excess. (Note that that sentence can have two meanings. I'm implying both.) I generally take it as it comes, letting the creative juices flow. Except I can't really do that here. Not with Screnzy.

The thing about Screnzy, or what I think about Screnzy so far, is that you probably have to plan your story out before going on to write the damn thing. I have no problem with planning, it's just that I... lack in ideas at times. This time round, I'm lacking in a suitable opening for my big TV series.

Now I've already asked about a venue from which to spring a time gate, or temporal portal, and I have had a few responses to that - not that I can name anybody. New to my 'list' of locations is the Arc de Triumph in Paris. I'm also wondering about creating my own monument for my own personal purposes. However, it's not the location that troubles me at present. It's the opening itself.

I can't get hold of a single idea right now, or at least, not an idea that I can see working. Here's what my thought process to date seems to have been:

"Chaos on Tower Bridge. People like chaos, and Tower Bridge is workable. Me like."

"Wait, me no like so much. Tower Bridge isn't quite as accessible as I thought. Plus, the opening-bridge-thing doesn't open as far as I would want it to. Great. Now I have to start over."

"Ooh, what about this? Create my own monument. Then have chaos and running and screaming. But what's the source of this chaos? It would be silly to be scared of blue arcs of electricity leaping from a stone archway, wouldn't it?"

"Include an assassination, maybe. That sounds promising. But who to kill, and why would a temporal gateway open up? Gr, this is harder than I thought...

And the most recent development is that maybe it's not a monument at all, but a sculpture instead in the middle of some odd sculpture garden. I'm getting real annoyed at myself now...

In answer to the ideas swarming my head, I'm putting up a poll. Vote for which idea you think is best, one of either:

• Tower Bridge
• The Gateway Arch
• The Arc de Triumph
• A Sculpture-Arch
• A Nonexistent Monument of My Own Creation

If all readers could partake, that would be much appreciated. This being the biggest design issue facing me right now, I think it's best to ask the wider community.

Going mad,
   A really rather Irate Author

Names! Argh!

Argh! Argh! Argh!

Yes, it's that time again. Time to create a name for my Screnzy script. Unfortunately for me, I'm all out of ideas.

Naming is not something that comes naturally to me. I'm a fickle creature: I'll pick a manageable working title and go with it for a while before changing it, then I'll repeat the whole process. So what I want to know is: How the heck do I choose the right title?

Choosing the right title can be difficult. It's a very trivial thing to be thinking about at this stage, but it must be thought about nonetheless. Unless, of course, one is writing for oneself, in which case one can be conservative and leave out the whole title malarkey. I am not, in this case, writing for myself.

Sometimes, a title will jump out at you from a body of text, whereas others (and this is the more common, in my case at the very least) must be slowly excavated over time. There is an art in delicately unravelling a good but subtle title, I think. But right now, I NEED A TITLE! And I can't find one!

The problem is Screnzy. I need a title for using with my Screnzy script. It doesn't want to come out of hiding. I'd rather like one that isn't too cheesy, but a bit mystical and makes you think, "What's that about?". (If you haven't already seen it, look at my prior posts to do with Screnzy.) I'm considering several options right now. Here's the current list:

• Yesterday's Tomorrow - implies something to do with time, maybe also travelling through it, but it seems to have a link to a Star Trek episode. Hmph.
• The Door - pretty true to the premise of the story, but it seems too much like the name of the band and a short story you'd find in among Edgar Allan Poe's complete works.
• Timegate - maybe a little forward, plus it puts me in mind of 'Stargate', which is now an old, old thing.

See, I have a shortlist, but I'm really not too keen on any of them so far. The script's most likely going to be a TV series, so I want something short and sweet that's memorable and unconnected to other things. Any ideas? Contact me, or leave a comment.

I'll just run off and tear my hair out now.

Regards,
   A Title-Crazed Author

Other Screnzy Folk

It appears that my posts actually do get read by some of you humanoid beings, as suddenly I've recieved the news that my colleague Rinrei is joining me for the frenzy. Wonderful. It seems I have the unusual ability to spread my craziness. It's contagious, I tell you. Quarantine me.

In fact, don't, because I'm really rather looking forwards to Script Frenzy. If you're going to lock me away, at least do me the honour of giving me a laptop, an internet connection and  trusty scriptwriting software. Or, alternatively, shove two hundred sheets of ruled paper through the door with a packet of biros attatched. Please?

Well, I'll be taken away to a top secret prison right underneath the Tower of London now. Maybe I'll get a good view of Tower Bridge... But not if I'm underground, right? Sigh.

Planning for Screnzy,
   A particularly contagious Insane Author.

Tower Bridge or the Gateway Arch?

Whistle, whistle, whistle, we're getting closer to Screnzy by the day. 41 days to go. So it seems that it's time to get my act together and write up some ideas.

I already have one or two thoughts on what I shall be writing about. It's probably best if I just hand you my logline on a silver platter. Here you go.

In the near future, Tower Bridge becomes a temporal portal, meaning people can walk forwards or backwards one day in time.

That's really all you need to know.

The idea is one that's been tugging at the back of my mind like a toddler pulls on his mother's skirts - it wants attention, and it wants it now. Of course, this particular toddler isn't hungry or thirsty or requires the latest in teddy bear technology. Instead, it just wants to be written out. Find me a toddler who wishes to be 'wriiten out', and I'll award you a prize. A sur-prize.

So far, that's pretty much all I have. I could substitute London's Tower Bridge for, maybe, St Louis' Gateway Arch, but tell me the truth: Which is the more iconic, cliched of the two? Have a look, see for yourselves.


 

Yeah, you're right. Probably Tower Bridge. However, I do like the prospect of using the Gateway Arch. I would feel less guilty about blowing it sky-high, for one. Plus, it's taller. 630 feet, to be precise. (I'm an expert on the Gateway Arch. Been there, done that, got the bookmark. Literally.) And also, I don't have the problem of placing the damn time gate either. Where exactly do I place a two-dimensional time gate on Tower Bridge? Probably between the road and the supporting beam thingies joining the towers, I guess.

Any of you lot out there have opinions? I would be more than happy to recieve them. That's not to say that I'll take them into account though. Drop an idea in the comments section or send me an email at: pisces.kettle@yahoo.com.

Thank you. Now, what are the pros and cons of each...?

N.B. I did, eventually, get past the 'doubting oneself' stage of selecting an environment, and decided to go for Tower Bridge.

How'd You All Find Me?

Yeah, I'm talking to you. The sane ones, supposedly. I have a question. How'd you all find me?

There appears to be a fair number of you people, all peeking at my blog. Rest assured, I'll be posting stories (and ideas for them) soon enough. I'll not be posting anything particularly revolutionary out there. After all, some of you may be plagiarists. Yes, I'm looking at you, Matt. No, I'm not forgiving you for stealing my motto.

In short, thanks. If you're enjoying my mad ramblings so far, please either a) see a special doctor or b) subscribe, either via the usual method or by email using the 'subscribe by email' bar that should be appearing at the bottom of this page very soon indeed.

Expect to see some changes to the design as I continue to develop this home for myself, the cuckoo writer. Also, maybe somebody should keep track of how many different synonyms I can find for 'crazy writer'.

Write to live, live to write.

Regards,
   A Crazy Writer

NaNo and Screnzy - What the Heck?

I've already made one reference to NaNo, and another to Screnzy, and I wouldn't blame you one lepton (elementary particles, people!) if you hadn't a clue what I was talking about. So, if I'm to use abbreviations, I'd better explain exactly what they are an abbreviated form of, as well as what the full term refers to. Let's do that by telling a story.

*            *            *

Once upon a time, some very crazy people had a very crazy idea - a whole month dedicated to writing a novel. The challenge created was christened 'NaNoWriMo', short for 'National Novel Writing Month'. Needless to say, it's an American idea and started on the west coast somewhere. Anyway, since its creation it's become an international phenomenon spanning a very wide selection of countries and attracting several hundred thousand crazy writers, myself included.

The challenge? Write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November, and the month of November only. Last year, I decided that the Tree of Insanity that spreads its invasive roots throughout my very being could be nurtured with a big lump of NaNoWriMo. I'll probably talk about my getting involved with the madness at some point, but today is not that day. Maybe.

Now, after the apparent success of NaNo, somebody decided that a sister project should be run. Instead of writing a novel of 50K words though, the aim would be to draft 100 pages of original scripted material for anything that may require a script, and it was made to run in April instead of November. Named 'Script Frenzy' (or 'Screnzy' for short), it too has been notably successful in recent years.

*            *            *

Now you know what NaNo and Screnzy are, I shall now talk of my own involvement in the projects.

The first time I took part in NaNoWriMo was last year (2011, for those of you who forget and can't count). I took part in NaNo (as it's called by us lazy crazies) and, surprisingly enough, won. Not bad for a newbie. (And don't even ask about what I win - I'll explain some other time.) Admittedly, it was a by-the-skin-of-my-teeth victory, but it was a victory nonetheless.

That's not to say that there wasn't a cost. There was no fee as such, but it caused me some grief trying to explain it to everyone I told about it, plus I went several nights near sleepless. Then there was the fact that you have to get on with the rest of your life in the meantime, which is somewhat hassling. I should probably inform you that, assuming you don't miss out any days at all throughout the 31 day period of November, that means you must write at least 1,667 words per day if one wishes to succeed at NaNo. With other commitments, that proves tough. I've already agreed to take part in the 2012 NaNo. That's one whole month set aside for writing. And now I've gone and doubled that time.

Two words: Script Frenzy. After recently learning of its somewhat mythical and untouchable existence, I had a moment of inspiration mixed with a larger-than-usual dose of madness that conspired to make me sign up to Screnzy. This means that I have effectively consigned myself to death by typewriter. I haven't the foggiest idea as to what I should do with Screnzy. I have an idea, all right, but only for a somewhat-shaky plot. That's all. I have no prior experience in writing scripts, nor do I have the proper software to write them with. What this means for me is that either I'll a) spend the next forty days or so reading the How-To guides with frantic franticness and download some sort of scriptwriting software or (and this is the more likely of the two options) b) I'll be shot down in a blaze of glory brought on by ludicrous inexperience, scripting dreams going down with me. Frankly, I hoped for better.

If some evil scientist were to plonk me at the start of April at this very instant, I would most likely die. I rate my chances of succeeding with my current knowledge as 32%. However, I have 43 days to learn. Let's hope I get the chance to put those 43 days to good use. If not, then Lord help me...

Making preparations for the oncoming April storm,
   An Insane Author

Allow Me to Introduce Myself...

Oh, hello there, denizens. I see you've located my blog, and this message, too. But that's obvious. Isn't it?

Allow me to introduce myself. I am Professor Pisces, though that is but one of my many names. I happen to write. A lot. I consider myself an amateur author, as I'm both an amateur and a writer, which is synonymous with writer, so it works. I like to write day and night, though night-time is usually when I can spare the moments. Usually, it's short stories, though every so often I go in for something larger and more complex. More often than not, I crash and burn. However, I've recently indulged myself in a little NaNoWriMo and, in the past few days, signed up to Script Frenzy. Trust me, I'll explain that later. Key words there: 'Indulge' + 'NaNoWriMo' + 'Script Frenzy'. For me, those words fit together wonderfully.

This is probably why everyone believes me to be insane.

Personally, I prefer genius, but alright: I'll be the first to admit that there's a thin line between genius and crazy person. Or, as a friend likes to say, "carzies". Needless to say, one day we'll both wind up in Bedlam.

In the meantime though, I shall utilise this particular corner of cyberspace to self-publish my work - at least, short stories and occasionally some novel ideas (note the double meaning there). And, seeing as the title of this blog includes the word 'journal', I'll use it as such. But only for writing-related stuff. Don't expect me to get deep and personal, because that just isn't me. My purpose here is to be decisively mysterious yet interesting, feeding the crowds with my work. Eat, paper-shredding machine, eat!

Here, I bid you good day. I'm off to find something to post.

Kind regards,
   An Insane Author